Off Campus

01 March 2005

Donuts, the hole truth.

Alright! Dunkin Donuts now takes credit cards! What a sorry state, as Americans, we’ve devolved to, that we need to fork over our Discover card to pick up a #2 – Oooh… cash back for all the munchkins I've scarfed!

Convenience? Yes, its slightly more convenient. I don't have to stop at the ATM (approx 1 mile from my house) before I pick up a medium regular and a Boston creme (approx .25 miles from the ATM). Why would I waste time going thru the drive-thru twice, or worse have to park and get out of the car, (again – twice), when I can heed the call of the snooze alarm, flash my plastic, save a stop and a whole minute off my morning routine.

It seems I’ll save money as well as time. (Warning, run-on sentence ahead. Stay focused.) I can drive past the 3 or 4 ATMs provided by my own bank, (or pocket the 1.50 service charge I’d get nailed with if I had to stop at one of a myriad other banks between my house and the office), en route to, not one, not two, but count them, 12 Dunkin Donuts along the mere 22 mile drive. A buck-fifty saved off a foreign ATM fee, and the time and gas I save from not starting and stopping the car at the bank means a free breakfast right? No. I’ll have to give the good folks at Mastercard a nice 18% on top of my breakfast (and second breakfast) for the privilege of their card taking up space in my wallet – you know the thing that used to hold cash.

“Hold on a second, twelve?” you ask. “A dozen donut shops? That can’t be right, surely you jest.” Well, ok, I’d have to bang a U-y to hit one, so I’d be retracing my steps for a block or two, but yes, there are 12 on the way, plus a few more I could hit with detours. Mapquest counts 78 less than 25 miles from my front door.

OK, there's lots of numbers so far, let me simplify this holesome math equation: 22miles/25mpg(12stops) x 1.50-(DD x 0.18interest)=700cal per mile or approx 13lbs gained each year. Ouch.

Good news though – 2 new Dunkin Donuts just opened up, (about a mile apart from each other, not even a mile from a relatively new location, and not 10 minutes drive from not one, not 2, but 3 others (albeit older establishments) in the other direction). These 2 aren’t on Mapquests list yet, but they’re on mine. Bringing me ever closer to Dunkin Donuts central. Connect the dots on a map and you’ll get a pentagram – frosted, with sprinkles. So I'll be able to pick up the freshest at each and can put together a nice fresh, warm dozen, and have enough caffeine to get me through the year – wide awake, which is good since I’ll be in the bathroom. Plus, points I accumulate on the credit card can be redeemed for travel mugs!

I suppose, being in DD central, I could hang up the car keys and walk to get my dozen, one at a time. Would take me at least a couple extra minutes, and burn off half a box of munchkins in the process… Donuts and coffee can be part of a healthy morning regime afterall!

Back to the commuter front, if I ever get bored, there are 2 other donut establishments on my drive in that I can stop at if I ever want to mix it up and try a mom and pops and/or a smaller chains version of the tasty round breakfast staple… Now I can only wonder, when will Krispy Kreme come to the area to further increase my options?