December Mail

Courtesy of the Auto-responder

Dear OC,
Why do I cry when I wear green socks?
Beverly in Beverly

Beverlyx2,

This is an auto-responder. Please do not reply to this message. Thank you for your inquiry. I will be out of the office this week, returning on Monday. All messages will be answered via our automated reply generator. Please note that these answers are for entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered legally binding or a substitute for proper diet and
exercise. Your randomly-generated answer follows.
------ Because GREEN SOCKS killed your parents.



OC

Dear Off Campus,
Is it true that a diet high in fructose can lead to werewolfism?
Olivia in Portsmouth

OP,

This is an auto-responder. Please do not reply to this message. Thank you for your inquiry. I will be out of the office this week, returning on Monday. All messages will be answered via our automated reply generator. Please note that these answers are for entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered legally binding or a sugar substitute with zero net
carbs. Your randomly-generated answer follows.
------ Because FRUCTOSE killed your parents.

OC

Dear Off Campus
Chevy Chevette or Chevy Nova? Which is a stronger chick-magnet?
J.E.

Jee

This is an auto-responder. Please do not reply to this message. Thank you for your inquiry. I will be out of the office this week, returning on Monday. All messages will be answered via our automated reply generator. Please note that these answers are for entertainment purposes only, and should not be considered legally binding or as a suitable means to be excused from gym class. Your randomly-generated answer follows.
------ Because CHICK-MAGNETS killed your parents.

OC