Off Campus

06 October 2004

More Ridiculous Laws

This week, Off Campus provides practical an overview of some of the more ridiculous laws in this country. Hopefully this will keep you out of trouble until Christmas.

In New Jersey, it's illegal to throw a bad pickle on the street.

“No Officer, that wasn’t a bad pickle, it was a good one. Here take a bite. See isn’t that delicious?”

In Kentucky, it’s illegal to put an ice cream cone in your pocket.

“Well, yes, that looks like an ice cream cone. But, you see officer, I’m vegan, and this is soy-based, which isn’t really ice cream at all. Ask anyone.”

Also in Kentucky, anyone who has been drinking is considered "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".

Have there been reports of people floating up into the sky? How could the cops even arrest these people?

In New York, It is illegal to jump off the Empire State building.
“You have the right to remain silent,..” You also have the right to remain dead.

In Massachusetts, mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
“Put down the grinder, and come out with your hands up. This is your last warning.”

In Kansas, it is illegal to hunt whales.
At 1,662.84 miles from downtown Wichita to Woods Hole, MA (approximately a 26 hour non-stop drive), to catch a ferry to Nantucket to hop a whaling ship (another 2 hours give or take), it is also impossible.

In Rhode Island, any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or a lunatic is null and void.
There are no divorce lawyers in RI. There are no (legally) married people either, … according to the “wives.”

In Portland, Maine, shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
It must be really hard to teach kids how to tie their shoes while walking. I can’t imagine any adults could do this either - non-circus folk, that is.

In Alabama, Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
Can you imagine the slogans the tourism department puts out?
“Come down to Alabama, I reckon you won’t get hit by a booger!”
“Booger Free in Alabamee!”