Off Campus

28 October 2004


Someone just asked me what I was going to be for Halloween this year. What am I gong to be for Halloween? How can I possibly think about it with all these Christmas catalogs piling up? I’ll Try to push aside the thought (and the constant media reminders) and give some attention to the forthcoming holiday. (Not skip ahead two or three like corporate America).

Not being a trick-or-treating child anymore, I wouldn’t have given it any thought, but, if I was to use Halloween as an excuse to break from the standard uniform of the working world, (and wear something that’s actually comfortable for a change) what would that be?

Could I use it as an excuse to get an extra “casual Friday” from the 9-5? Could I stretch out my snooze alarm, sneak in a few more ZZZ’s and head out the door in my PJ’s? No chance this year. Unlike those lost in the land of retail, I’ve got Sunday off.

With the whole day available for my Halloween merriment, perhaps I should look deeper into the costumed world, not actually pay any attention to the history of the holiday, but see what I could do with. or get away with in costume. I don’t mean burglaries, or reenacting my favorite scenes from Alias, but rather newsworthy – death-defying stunts like the human fly climbing skyscrapers, or something else amazing, not involving Niagra Falls and a barrel. (perhaps for endorsements)

Or better yet, like the faithful readers of comic books, I could go even further and see what I could BECOME while in disguise. I don’t need to get bit by a radioactive spider, or figure out some way to be born on another planet to have superpowers. I don’t think we have the rely on gadgets either, I believe there is a superhero inside of all of us, and all we need to discover our true potential and answer our life’s calling is to put on the uniform. Unfortunately this involves spandex.

With the holidays approaching, it’s likely that, if we can’t now, we will certainly not be able to fit into the uniform come New Years. Even for a guy in pretty good shape, I understand that Tobey Maguire’s costume in Spiderman wasn’t terribly comfortable. (Apart from his web slinging abilities being anatomically incorrect, ) No superpowers, except perhaps invisibility, would compensate for head to toe spandex.

Hmmm…. Invisibility would be nice. Could get away with quite a bit. Couldn’t sit down to enjoy a free movie or walk around naked anywhere. Trade comfort for invisibility? Nope. In my world comfort is King, as is in many I’m sure.

I’m gonna sit home and see if I can eat the entire bowl of candy before the first knock.

“Trick or Treat”